


What's wrong this time, miss mayesty?

by Jossasund



Series: My collection of swanqueen one-shots [2]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/F, Fluff and Humor, Hormones, Laughter, One Shot, Pregnancy, Pregnant Evil Queen | Regina Mills, swanqueen - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-30
Updated: 2017-08-30
Packaged: 2018-12-21 17:50:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,377
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11949495
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jossasund/pseuds/Jossasund
Summary: Regina is heavily pregnant with her and Emma's child. While the former queen isn't pleased with all the changes her body is going trough, Emma is having the time of her life making fun of her wife.





	What's wrong this time, miss mayesty?

**Author's Note:**

> Special thanks to Naomi for being my beta!

Regina was laying on the couch, just trying to get comfortable, with no success. She was pregnant in her 7th month and she felt like an enormous walking cow. Her wife Emma did what she could to keep her happy but as the pregnancy proceeded, the more hormones Regina got, which lead to stupid arguments about trivial stuff. Henry, who was a teenager by now, preferred to be at his grandparents most of the time because of that. Emma Swan though, enjoyed Regina's mood swings, something that only made the former queen even more upset.

 

_ “Miss Swan!“ Regina shouted from the kitchen as the blonde sheriff walked up to the doorway with a smirk.  _

_ “Yes babe?” she said as her eyes met Regina's.  _

_ “First, my name isn't Babe! I may be pregnant but I'm not a pig. Like others in this house!” the mayor huffed, but Emma just chuckled at her.  _

_ “So besides that, what's wrong this time, your majesty?” the sheriff said with a mischievous smile on her lips, only making her wife grow angrier.  _

 

_ “You're not afraid to die now, are you Ma?” Henry asked as he walked up to his birth mother and laid his hand on her shoulder.  _

_ “I've fought a fucking dragon with a sword. I think I can handle your mom,” Emma shrugged as she ruffled her teenage son’s hair.  _

_ “Language!” Regina snapped, but neither of the two Swans were paying her any attention at all for the moment.  _

_ “I'm off to see grandpa, he's taking me out to the lake.” Henry said and turned his eyes to his pregnant mother. “And I'll spend the night there so.. Bye guys!”  _

 

_ Before Regina had the chance to say anything, the teenager had already run out of the house, slamming the door behind him.  _

_ “Lighten up my queen, he just doesn't want to spend time with his mothers, okay? “ Emma said calmly as she walked up to her wife and pecked her lips. Regina was still not pleased.  _

_ “So can we please talk about this?!” the queen snarled and pointed at the apples in the bowl on the counter.  _

 

_ “What's wrong with those?” Emma frowned.  _

_ “I hate green apples! I won't have those… Those.. Things in my house! I only eat red ones! You know that!” Regina shot back as Emma rolled her eyes. “And don't you dare roll your eyes at me Miss Swan! “ she added quickly.  _

_ “I'm sorry Reg, it has been a long day and I accidentally bought the wrong apples.” Emma said with a small smile. “I promise I’ll buy red ones tomorrow, okay?”  _

_ “Promise?” Regina asked, suddenly feeling her eyes tear up. She was so sick of the stupid pregnancy hormones.  _

_ “I promise. Let’s go and watch some movies and I'll rub your feet?” _

 

*******

 

Emma popped in to grannies on her way home from the station. She knew Regina didn't  _ approve  _ of fat and greasy food under normal circumstances, but for the past month she had  _ craved _ it. And Emma didn't complain, she actually quite enjoyed it. She was so fed up with eating salad anyway. 

 

“Hi Ruby,” Emma said with a smile as she sat down by the counter. The waitress turned around and smiled when she met Emma's eyes. 

“Hello there Mrs. Sheriff, is it time for the monsters daily feeding huh?” Ruby chuckled, referring to Regina. Emma just rolled her eyes and nodded. She knew Ruby was just messing around because she and Regina had become really good friends. She had even kept Regina company if Emma had been hold up at the station for some reason. “Yep,” Emma smirked. “Today the queen has ordered grilled cheese.”

“Let me guess, extra cheese, no crusts?” Ruby replied and Emma frowned. 

“Yeah.. Wait a minute, how do you know that?”

“She texted me the order before, so you didn't get it wrong.” Ruby laughed as she disappeared into the kitchen. Emma just shook her head.

 

******

 

Regina was growing impatient but she knew Emma would be home any minute now. Her stomach growled and her mouth watered at the thought of soon taking a bite of a grilled cheese. This baby was  _ so  _ like Emma already, craving pizza and everything greasy with extra cheese on it. The queen rubbed her stomach and received a kick from the girl inside her stomach, which brought a smile to her lips. 

 

_ Regina had asked Ruby to buy her a pregnancy test in strictest secret. Emma was away with Henry and his grandparents until the next day. So the queen had invited Ruby over for a little girl's night.  _

_ “Lock away your daughters, the gay werewolf is here! “ Ruby smirked when she walked inside Regina's mansion.  _

_ “Ah Miss Lucas, right on time.” the queen smiled. “I wish you could teach my wife how the clock works someday.“ _

_ “I doubt it.” Ruby shrugged when she followed Regina into the living room.. “You know what they say, can't teach an old dog new tricks.” _

_ “Sadly you and Miss Swan have the same terrible humour,” Regina pointed out as they sat down on the couch.  _

 

_ The queen tugged on her lower lip as she met the waitress eyes.  _

_ “Did you buy what I asked you?” she asked in a surprisingly hushed tone, even if they were alone in the house.  _

_ “Yeah of course. And you should have seen the looks I got!” Ruby chuckled as she gave the pregnancy test to Regina. The queen gave her a nervous smile in reply. “I mean, I didn't know what was worse. A werewolf buying a pregnancy test or a gay woman buying it!?” _

 

_ “You should think people here in Storybrooke would be used to seeing more.. odd things,” Regina shrugged as she felt how her heart started to beat faster. Ruby reached for her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze, making the queen relax a bit.  _

_ “Just take the test Regina, and if it's positive I'll guarantee Emma is gonna be so happy,” she assured her friend but the queen was feeling torn. She had been married to the Sheriff for almost 3 years now and they hadn’t discussed children, even if Regina had always dreamed about carrying one.  _

 

_ A half hour later the test was taken and Regina just sat and stared at it, not knowing what she should do or say. Ruby waited patiently outside the door until Regina told her to come in.  _

_ “So, what did it say? “ the werewolf asked curiously but before Regina had the chance to react, a cloud of smoke appeared in the bath tub. The two turned around and broke out in laughter as they saw it was Emma who had poofed herself there. Unfortunately the Sheriff’s magic wasn't as good as the queens so her teleporting was always fun to see because she always appeared somewhere… Weird.  _

 

_ Emma quickly stood, banging her head on the shower head, making her mumble a lot of swear words under her breath.  _

_ “Regina, are you okay? I just got this weird feeling in my stomach you needed me so.. “ Emma stated and climbed out of the bath tub and walked up to her wife who was sitting on the toilet.. _

_ “I'll leave you two alone and head downstairs” Ruby said with a gentle tone. She leaned down and placed a careful kiss on Regina's temple. “Good luck Reg.” _

 

_ Regina smiled at Ruby as she closed the bathroom door behind her. Emma quickly met Regina's eyes and swallowed hard. The usual queen looked scared and it broke her heart.  _

_ “So what's going on? I was in the middle of making s’mores! “ Emma said and Regina just rolled her eyes. So typical that her wife got upset over some stupid snack she didn't have the chance to eat.  _

_ “I'm pregnant Miss Swan,” the older woman said and the Sheriff’s mouth almost dropped to the floor.  _

_ “Wait what? You're.. But. How?” _

_ “Magic,” Regina said with a crooked smile, while she tried to figure out if the blonde was happy or not. But minutes later she got the answer without asking the question, as the Sheriff almost tackled her down with a hug. Regina just chuckled, feeling her heart burst out of love for Emma Swan.  _

 

*****

 

Emma wished Ruby a happy weekend before she jumped into her car and steered it home to Mifflin street. It was Friday, the sun was shining and she was soon to be home with her beautiful wife. Life felt so fantastic! The Sheriff parked her car and grabbed the bag from grannies and headed inside. 

“Honey I'm home!“ she shouted. 

“In the living room” Regina replied.  _ Just where I left you _ Emma thought to herself as she walked in there. 

 

She smiled at the sight of her heavily pregnant wife. She was so beautiful and Emma only fell deeper in love with her every time their eyes met. 

“I'm starving! “ Regina complained, and made Emma snap back to reality. She reached for the queen’s hand and helped her to sit up. Emma pecked her lips and sat down next to her. She picked up the food and Regina licked her lips. But before she started to eat, she met Emma's green eyes. 

“If this girl demands any more fast food I'll look like an enormous ball before she is born,” Regina sighed but Emma just shrugged. 

“Just eat now, please, before you get angry with me because of some stupid reason, huh?”

 

*****

 

_ Emma was awoken by a scream from the study. She snapped her eyes open and literally ran downstairs, almost tripping over herself at least ten times. She ran into the study and considering the screams, she had expected to find her wife badly hurt. But she didn't. Regina was sitting by the fireplace with tears rolling down her cheeks. _

_ “Hey Reg, I'm here. So tell me, what's wrong?” _

_ “I can't fit into my high heels!” Regina said with a pout. _

 

_ “Ehm come again?” Emma asked confused.  _

_ “I CAN'T WEAR MY HIGH HEELS BECAUSE MY FEET ARE SWOLLEN AND ARE THE SIZE OF A POTATO! “ Regina snapped and started to cry even more. Emma couldn't hold back her laughter and her wife shot her a glare.  _

_ “It's not a bit funny Miss Swan! I have always worn high heels! What should I walk around in now? Boots like you?” Regina groaned and crossed her arms. “I refuse to look like a farmer!” _

_ “Let me just ignore the fact you woke me up with a high pitched scream, causing me to fall out of bed and almost have a heart attack on my way down here? And don't forget I almost tripped over myself on the stairs! All because you can't wear high heels? Are you freaking kidding me right now!?” _

 

_ “I would never joke about something as serious as this! I have a style to uphold! A reputation! “  _

_ “This pregnancy is going to be… interesting,” Emma mumbled under her breath as she turned around, heading for the kitchen  _

_ “Come back here Miss Swan, right now! “ _

_ “Nope. Not gonna happen! “ Emma shouted over her shoulder but she didn't get far before Regina had used her magic to bring the Sheriff back to her again.  _

 

_ “Don't you dare walk away from me in the middle of a serious conversation! “ Regina said through gritted teeth.  _

_ “Serious conversation?! Reg darling, you're freaking out over the simple fact you can't wear high heels.” Emma said and kneeled down in front off her pregnant wife. “This is just the tip of the iceberg, believe me. So buckle up sweetie, it's gonna be one hell of a ride.” _

_ “And what's that supposed to mean?!“ the queen snarled.  _

 

_ “It means your body is going to go through a hell of a lot more than just swollen feet. You're gonna get cravings for all kind off stuff soon. Like waking up in the middle off the night, with only food on your mind.” Emma said with a grin on her face. “For instance, when I expected Henry, I was crazy about pizza. And that with an overflow with cheese! Salad only made me puke,” the last sentence made Regina's face turn almost pale.  _

_ “I refuse to stuff myself full of such!“ Regina snapped, making her wife chuckle. _

_ “Unfortunately it's not like you can decide that. What the fetus demands is what it's gonna get. But good luck being healthy while pregnant. You're gonna be the first one.” _

 

_ Regina didn't succeed.  _

 

_ ***** _

 

After devouring the grilled cheese, Regina laid down on the couch again, feet in Emma's lap. 

“Have you and the baby girl had a good day? Or has she been playing soccer with your bladder like usual?“ Emma asked as she rubbed her wife's feet. 

“She's actually been quite lazy today. So no soccer practice today,” Regina said with a smile on her lips. Emma nodded before she leaned down and pulled up Regina's shirt. The Sheriff started to place gentle kisses on her queen’s big belly bump and somewhere around the third kiss, the baby kicked hard and Emma tumbled down on the floor. Regina raised an eyebrow at her, as her wife popped her head up. 

“The little shit just kicked me in the mouth!“ Emma said as the two broke out in laughter. 

 

Regina rubbed her stomach and smiled. 

“That's my girl” the queen said to her stomach and Emma rolled her eyes. 

“You and that girl are gonna team up against me. I just know it!“ Emma said with a pout as she rubbed the place by her mouth their kid had kicked her.  _ This is gonna hurt Iike hell tomorrow  _ the Sheriff thought to herself. 

“Serves you right.” Regina chuckled. “Besides that, you have Henry.”

“But he's off soon to school and then what?! Nobody is gonna protect me from your hideous plans of making me eat healthy food! I'm gonna die! “ Emma said as they both broke out in laughter again.

 

Their love had taken years to grow and it had begun with utter hate. But now they couldn't picture a life without one another. 

“I love you,” Emma smiled as her lips brushed against Regina's. 

“And I love you too, even if you are an idiot,” Regina replied as their lips met in a deep and sweet kiss.

 

**The end!**

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading and please leave a comment, and make my day! :)


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